I don’t want to get fired at home.
Three major events landed on my calendar during my kids’ first week of school. And as I ducked out of the third one, I texted a fellow mom colleague:
I’m leaving so I don’t get fired at home.
Her response:
lol. I totally get it.
My friends and I talk about this a LOT. Being a dual-income household comes with dual, sometimes conflicting career needs relative to the needs of your household.
At my house, I’m the person who’s away a lot. As founder/CEO of Orum I travel to meet with board members, speak at conferences, and meet with customers. I also attend post-work events fairly often. My husband works from home full-time and is not required to travel as much, which is a privilege that makes a big difference for us. He still has the intensity of being a partner in a law firm, though — late nights, weekends and trials are a reality.
I’ve always wanted to have a big career, and I love working on Orum. But I also got married and had kids for a reason. I value spending time with my family and really strive to make sure family time is protected.
Not getting fired at home takes conscious effort, communication between me and my husband and my kids, and sticking to my promises. If I say I’ll be home by 6, I need to be there by 6, not 6:30. If I need to be gone one or two weeknights we can figure that out, but three feels like a lot.
I’d love to say we have a magic answer like a shared calendar (a hack that works for some friends), or a Sunday evening meeting to plan our week down to the minute. But for us, it’s a lot of talking (umm…also a lot of texting about logistics!), honesty, and taking the time to check in.
Sometimes just picking up something my husband often does — like handling dinner — without being asked to help is my way of offering relief. Saying thank you and recognizing the work that the other person is putting in goes just as far.
We don’t always get it right — but it’s a delicate balance worth striving for. I’d love to hear your thoughts. This conversation began on LinkedIn, where I talk about career paths, entrepreneurship, being a founder, and more. Follow me for similar discussions.